In the stillness of a well-kept home, amid the routine of chores, meals, and childcare, there is often an unseen battle many housewives silently endure: depression. These women who spend their entire time taking care of those they love, may wake up to the bitterness of compelling sorrow and exhaustion. Commonplace domesticity and proper family care must disguise that, perpendicular to these appearances, many housewives deal with first signs of depression which people around them, as well as the women themselves, do not necessarily notice or realise.
Depression in housewives is often overlooked due to societal expectations and the invisible nature of domestic work.
A housewife may be cooking breakfast for the family, and doing all her chores and taking care of the family, and all this while she may feel this sinking feeling of sadness which one can hardly account for. What is wrong with her is not situational, rather she feels sad all the time, and that sadness permeates her existence, her work, and even her interactions with her family members and friends. It may isolate her, even when with loved ones, she may feel so enclosed by a glass, that nothing she is a part of feels warm to her.
Being a wife and a mother is naturally exhausting but when one suffers from depression, the most basic chores seem monumental. This could make a housewife unable to move out of bed or dress up, or even cook or clean the house. This is not merely a physical exhaustion, but a total exhaustion of person’s emotional and mental resources. From a one-hour job, it has turned into an all-day affair meaning she wakes up exhausted before she even ventures into her tasks.
Some may consider themselves as being unnoticed even though they work hard to make their household run smoothly. This feeling is further compounded if there are those set of notions that obviously depict the housewives as having it easier or less important than a career woman as a professional. So, the housewife finds herself doubting the value of herself, asking questions like: Am I important? Is what I am doing important or am I merely but relevant?
The daily tasks and emotional demands of household management can contribute to feelings of stress, isolation, and depression.
Instead of focusing on one passion, such as cooking tasty dishes or using creativity for making artistic dishes or visiting friends, a housewife who is experiencing the loss of interest might gradually pull herself out from all these interesting activities. People are rejected from social relations, and what used to be pleasurable, is no longer a pleasure. They give up the sources of some comfort and self-satisfaction that no longer stir any interest in life to result in an exacerbation of the detachment syndrome.
There could be times when even nondelicate choices – what to prepare for breakfast, what chores to accomplish, or how to schedule the day – turn into life-and-death issues. Along with these, she may also develop forgetfulness and inability to concentrate which may lead to inability to perform tasks. A house wife might even forget about appointments, in extreme cases may skip important chores, or may sometimes sit blankly, unable to concentrate on the task at hand.
It’s essential for housewives experiencing depression to seek professional help and build a strong support network to cope with their challenges.
Sleep regime may be disrupted where some of the people experiencing chronic fatigue may have insomnia and find themselves awake for hours in the night, thinking anxious thoughts. Some people may be found drifting and sleeping most of the time due to the feelings of despair, which are experienced once one wakes up. In either case, the disturbance in the sleep schedule further contributes to the tiredness is does well contribute to the depression they are enduring.
At times, some housewives may find that they have no desire to eat food because the substance does not interest them and they lose weight as a result. In other people, food turns to comfort and they binge eat till they’re overweight. Such changes in meal pattern when added to what depression imposes on the body, adds to the general derogation of health.
Finally, for many housewives suffering from depression there is a read subtext: “Snap out of it.” This may make them feel guilty that they cannot ‘pull themselves together,’ to be the wife or mother their family needs. They may think they are the only ungrateful and weak person in the world for being sad at their current situation while they have home, family and security. It thus worsens their depression – hence developing a cycle in which they believe they cannot escape.
As much as social factors contribute to depression among housewives, hormonal changes are probably another big problem that aggravates their psychological problems. Regardless, these hormonal fluctuations impact the brain chemicals essential in managing mood, motivation and stress. Some women take this imbalance literally and experience more than passing low moods that can translate to chronic depression for most people, typified by symptoms such as overwhelm, memory problems, poor concentration, and mood swings. However, these signs are often misinterpreted or overlooked with housewives again forcing themselves to attempt to overcome their suffering dismissing their problems as failures and not real pain of their bodies and souls due to biological and psychological causes.
To truly assist housewives suffering from depression, the initial step that has to be taken by other family members is to recognize that she is facing some difficulties and/or challenges in her life. Far too often, her feelings are ignored and placed down on the level of just being ‘tired’ or ‘overworked’. That is why one has to pay attention to the symptoms such as if she loses interest in things that used to be interesting for her, becoming forgetful, or developing changes in eating and sleeping patterns. Once the family can comprehend what she is actually dealing with, then in turn she can be persuaded to get professional help; this could be through a Psychologist for therapy or by consulting with a Psychiatrist for medications, especially where the situation is severe. However, other help, the most effective one, begins at home. Family members could start off by splitting up the responsibilities, help her lighten her burden a bit, and more importantly, talk to her. Things as small as thanking her for her efforts can in fact help her regain some of that happiness that was missing. What she may need most could be the messages of care in the form of the small acts of empathy, patience and understanding. When a housewife feels as though she is being understood, and for example receives emotional support, she is likely to start out on the process of recovering from her distress and can regain her emotional health.